All things considered, I am new to the facial hair scene. My face has been smooth as a baby’s bottom most of my life. But a couple of years ago, while camping in the mountains in northern California, I discovered I could grow a mustache. Oh, the possibilities, I thought! I could grow this out, change my name to Buck or Anders, build a cabin right here out of hand-milled redwood, and spend my days bow hunting caribou and trading furs on the festival scene… Unfortunately our rented Miata was due back in San Francisco later that week, where I maxed out my budget on burritos, Negra Modelos, Uber rides and a few vintage shirts. So I returned to Boston in need of some work and resumed the clean-shaven life for a while.
That winter, New England was hammered by an infamous series of blizzards. Society came to a near halt. We were trapped indoors by walls of snow and ice for weeks. I wistfully recalled my time in the warm, dusty mountains and waited for the thaw. When we emerged from our various hideouts in the spring, I had a sapling beard on my face. Nature had taken it’s course. But I was still a novice with no clue how to care for a newborn beard.
I got lucky with Beyer’s. It’s made in Bavaria from a handful of rich natural oils like jojoba and lavender, and nothing else. Love it. Natural and simple. It smells like fresh orange zest in my palm — a scent that’s rivaled only by my fresh-ground coffee — which is reason enough to crack the bottle open each morning. I didn’t realize what a big difference it would make! My whiskers are soft and silky to the touch now instead of coarse and wiry. There is a natural order and calm to previously frizzy patches. My skin is more comfortable, smooth and moisturized. I’m especially loving it this time of year, when the winter air is distressingly dry. The rich, lightweight botanical oils seem to have a nice warming effect. I rub it on my neck and cheeks to soothe itchy skin and stubble before going out in the cold. I’ve even been using a little in my hair to add some moisture and shine!
The best endorsement Beyer’s Oil got wasn’t from me but from my lovely girlfriend, Simone. She nuzzled my face one morning and noticed right away how soft it had become, seemingly overnight. She lit up and couldn’t get enough! I have happily endured many more nuzzles, cuddles and kisses since then. Definitely an unexpected benefit — I feel like a human teddy bear. In a good way. I should have known. It says it right on the bottle — “Rub in your beard and be happy!”